The War On Our Attention
“Until you make your unconscious conscious, it will direct you and you will call it fate" ~Carl Jung
Does this sound familiar to you: you take a moment and open your social media app of choice or your email with the intention of just checking it really quickly. You start to look at one post or email. Then you click a link you see that is interesting, which brings you to a video. You watch the video, which then points you to another video. You watch the second video and click another link. The next thing you know, 3 hours have passed and you’ve got nothing done nor can you remember what you initially set out to do before you got caught in the distraction loop.
Let’s face it: we live in a distracted culture and it’s not our fault. We have people constantly vying for our attention because they need help, or want to sell us something, or want to give us the information we asked for, or they want to show us their cute baby or dog. The distraction feels safe because it takes me away from the things that really need my attention: my feelings, my sobriety, my family and friends, my work, my health, and so on. Believe it or not, my unconscious mind feels safter with the infinite scroll of a news feed! The perception of control, like when I’m scrolling, is where I feel the safest. So while I think I’m just taking a minute, in reality my subconscious is trying to control the situation using distraction so that I don’t have to deal with the thing that is making me feel uncomfortable. For a lot of us, that involves using an addictive behavior to distract us.
I’m often reminded that “life is a choice between what hurts and what hurts worse” (Sachs, 2016). I’m constantly battling that thing in my brain that wants me to be distracted so I don’t have to feel or do something that will ultimately make my life better. I’m not saying it’s not okay to rest, but when does it turn into “taking my comfort” or “resting on my laurels”? I need to notice when I’m just resting/resetting or when I’m making a decision to distract myself from whatever it is that I don’t want to feel or deal with in that moment. I have to remember that life is one big uncertainty. But I ask you now – how are you tending your own garden? The grass is greener where we water it and what we pay attention to in our lives is what thrives.
For me, this is so tough for the solution is not always simple, nor what I want it to be, because I don’t have endless moments. Unfortunately, my life is finite and my unconscious mind knows this to be true. The distraction allows me to not consciously feel the finality of my life. The distraction makes me unconscious to my reality and then I’m apt to call it fate as mentioned in the quote above. But it is really all about not being able to stay in the discomfort. Simply removing the distraction is not the answer since there will always be other distractions until I address the source and learn how to stay in the discomfort. Life is truly about giving ourselves over to the meaningful activities and the discomfort inherit in these relationships and pursuits. I’m reminded of the concept that I must hold space for both comfort and discomfort in my life. We as human beings want to be comfortable. Staying within the discomfort is where all freedom lives. Overcoming obstacles is uncomfortable but gets me to next place in my journey.
Acceptance doesn’t mean agreement; it means I know it is true. Therefore, I prepare myself for the path of discomfort since I know it’s coming – that is the human condition that I tried to escape from for so long during active addiction. So today I chose life, discomfort, and to place my attention on things that will allow me to thrive in my recovery life.
Tanya D. is a Usui/Holy Fire® III Karuna Reiki® Master, Meditation Instructor, Spiritual Life Coach and Yoga4Sobriety Teacher Ambassador/Liaison. Join her online Wednesdays at 6pm EST for Meditation4Sobriety. Find her @thepeacewecrave on Facebook/Instagram and at www.thepeacewecrave.com for all things recovery, reiki, meditation, and peace. Contact her at tanyad@thepeacewecrave.com.